I won’t bend the knee unless it is to go down on both of them. I do it happily in meditation and prayer. That is what volition grants you. And it serves.
On the other hand, I argue plainly that it is alright to bend the knee when working in the garden. Now ask yourself, how long has it been since you tended to yours?
Do weeds get in the way?
From reaching vital fruit?
Is it the fruit tree that you talk about being amazing if you could only reach it?
The one that subsequently draws in the rodents, as there is so much knotweed in the way?
If weeds are left to grow, due to ignorance and neglect, it soon becomes noticeable how far things have gotten out of control, whether it be with a coworker, a neighbor, a lover, a spouse, or the fixtures and how they just aren’t aligned, damnit—I tell you, it is because YOU are not aligned.
Not aligned with the thoughts and feelings that urge you to come forth, and take responsibility for EVERYTHING. To be happy for once. And that involves being happy for others.
That mirror I keep talking about isn’t a metaphor. It means exactly what it is, as it reflects what you shine upon it. It follows through, every time. If you go out seeking conflict the mirror shall not deny you. If you shower it with golden dreams, it shall not deny you. If you say to the mirror that this person is ridiculous, and shallow, and empty, and pretentious, the mirror shall not deny you. For it loves you all too much to ever interfere with what you think and know and trust you see.
And if I am seeing and recognizing all of this, it means I have work to do, too. I must keep it within the realm of science fiction and keep it completely out of my life, and your life. And keep offering light, and let it all go.
The blessing of all this is—you can come and be part of this story anyway you like—arriving late—arriving early, you make it what you wish it to be for you. That is why I try to leave space when I can. To figure out how this makes you feel, above all else.
Let me know in the comments. As some of it was allegorical, and not blatantly finger painted. Which can be good at times. Don’t know much about finger painting but I imagine it’s similar to writing a book for the first time. You see that? More allegory. More trickery. To get you to wonder if you should trust me or not. And this is the strange conversation I have with the typewriter, and with my improvised voice narration, every day. And today I wished to get up on the mic, and try something I’ve never done before which is to pretend that I was giving and receiving ASMR to myself. Kind of strange, for sure. I know. But that is what writing and narrating and PERFORMING allows. It allows someone to play a character, and be at least accepted as a performer, and hopefully appreciated for it.
-W.V.Carleton
Episode 10 - Dwelling